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Still, navigating the world of online dating can definitely be tricky—what kind of message is clever, but not creepy?

What the hell are you supposed to say about yourself in your profile? [pagebreak] OUT-OF-TOWN AND OUT OF TOUCH The scenario: “A guy sent me a message saying that he wanted to meet up for a drink, but when I asked when he was free, he said he was ‘going out of town’ for the next two weeks and that we should schedule something after.” — Andrea, 31 The problem..the solution: If you tell a girl you’re “going out of town,” she’s going to assume you’re busy dating other women.

And when that question was put to Zagat's editors, they sent back, by e-mail, the names of 19 other restaurants, among them the Four Seasons (the main entrance is at 99 East 52nd Street, but the Zagat editors say there is also a way out through the Seagram Building), Ouest (at 2315 Broadway, but the editors noted a door onto West 84th Street) and the Rose Bar in the Gramercy Park Hotel (''Multiple ways out,'' they wrote in an e-mail).

A back entrance that is used to access the bathrooms will also get you outside.'' They also say that there is a ''discreet call-ahead service'' for those who want to come and go ''without anyone seeing you.'') The survey is Zagat's second on dating and dumping.

NOT-SO-SMOOTH OPERATOR The scenario: “I recently received a message that said, ‘Damn you’re a pretty white girl, you into muscular black men?

’” — Kristen, 27 The problem..the solution: Aside from the obvious inappropriate nature of the comment to a complete stranger, men should never mention their physical characteristics or their own body parts in an introductory message.

Women are easily scared away online, so you should avoid saying anything remotely controversial or predatory.

Having spent my youth campaigning for the cause of ‘The Women’s Liberation Army’ aka the feminist sisterhood long before it was deemed filmic, I had, somewhere along the way, as a postcard of the time, depicting a carefree woman in 50’s evening dress with long gloves on, hand clasped to mouth: “Forgotten to Have a Baby!

” Consequently I have a tendency to adopt passing young women and use them as Pretend Daughters to offer my soul a substitute for unfulfilled maternal yearnings.




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YOU choose your online username, determine how much to share in your profile, and whether to make it discreet (viewable by only those you allow).


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